When Is It Time To Grow Up?

In the past couple of days I've noticed an abundance of insightful notes, most of which are by people I would call my brothers. One of these notes had a question that I felt could be expanded on a bit. In the note "Breaking The Law Vol. 1: Did You See That Stop Sign," in the third paragraph Derek asks "When is it the right time to grow up?" Now a question like this can be answered in many different ways depending on who you ask. Things such as lifestyle, age, or even the people that one may hang around can have part in the result. But my question is where is the line drawn where everyone of all classifications can agree that it's time for a change?

First off I want to say that under no circumstances should people try to force change when they aren't truly ready, but maturity is something that people shouldn't have to force in the first place. Maturity is growth. Not just growth physically, but also mentally (maybe even more so). This is why when a grown ass man/woman displays kid-like qualities, it is common that their maturity is put to question.

With all of this said anyone who truly knows me knows that I have goofy side. I'll joke with anyone surrounding me as long as the situation permits. Buhh, Buhh BUT, that doesn't mean that every situation is to be made a mockery of. A lot of people nowadays are stuck in high school and just can't figure out their next move. They continue to use the same antics and recite the same jokes that were once funny as teenagers, but while they laugh at themselves they never realize that they are the only ones doing it. I believe that all of this is caused by two major issues.

The first being that they didn't have the HS career (socially) that they wanted, so they attempt to make up for lost time now. One may have never had the attention they were going for as a teenager, so now that people pay them mind they do things to pretty much state "Hey, I'm goofy...be friends with me!" OOOOK! Point Taken. The wild thing is that the people who meet you this way might find you amusing at first, but after a while they see it simply as annoying, once realizing that it not only gets deeper, but it's the only aspect to your personality.

The other major issue is simply being scared to mature. Some people feel like growing up is filled with nothing but bills and having the burden of fending for one's self. They disguise this fear with goofiness and by talking about every major change you would like to make in life w/o ever actually putting the effort into doing so. This hurts most when someone has to see a friend or a number of them go through this stage just because they may not be completely sure what they want out of life. I think that if people took the time out to speak to their friends about this (constructively not rudely), they can possibly be the x-factor in their positive change.

Overall, I think some people have a lot of soul searching to do. Just because one lifestyle is all that someone has ever known, doesn't mean it's necessarily the best lifestyle. Maturing isn't something that is forced but when it you see the signs, PAY ATTENTION! Once one gimmick stops working, pick up another one and keep it moving. Maybe then people will start to laugh with you, opposed to just looking at you.

Enough Favors.....

One thing I was always told as a youth was to always "look out for your star player." For anyone that is at all new to the phrase, this is a saying used to tell people to always act with yourself in mind. Even the most selfless of people occasionally have to do things that are more positive for themselves opposed to always trying to better the issues of others. My question is how many of us actually do this? I mean sure! One could live their entire life for others. But I can guarantee that in 50% (or more) of the acts in which they are participating in, they are in turn leaving themselves out to dry in the process. This is where kindness gets confused with weakness. The "giving" party has put their self in a situation to potentially be used over and over again. At this point the only thing saving them from being taken advantage of is if (and ONLY IF), the "friend" given this power doesn't abuse it. But that's not even the wild part. If it ever does gets this extreme, the user may be so accustomed to one playing the yes man, that they may not even realize that they are abusing you and the friendship shared.

Now when it comes to me, I feel like I've always looked out for myself. I may be lenient at times, but for the most part I don't have a problem saying NO. But if you paid close attention to my last sentence, you realized I said for the MOST part. Recently, within the last year or so I would say that I've been more likely to break my back at times for others. In some cases I have offered to do things and in others I've been asked. In just about all of these cases though, the people I acted for were all companions (some way closer than others) of mine. During this year of kindness I've came up with a result. People will use you only as much as you let them. Whether it's lending money, giving someone a ride or even helping people with their own situations. It's funny to see how one day you can do something for a person, and the next day when it's you that needs the help they can quickly get ghost. I can honestly say that I feel like some of the things I have done for people as of late that I would once call friend, or even bro, has gone unnoticed. Now, I'm not asking for anyone to give me money or send me hallmark cards about how much they appreciate me. Anyone that truly knows me can tell you that I'm not the type to hold things over another's head. Especially when I was the one who agreed to do it for them. Buh, buh BUT when you put your own security/money/advantages (even licenses in some scenarios lolol) on the line for others that you once trusted, it can really hit you once you realize they only seen you as the simp that could be leached off of. With that said there is truly no one to blame but the person being used. If you don't allow it, IT CAN'T HAPPEN. In the end it may even open your eyes to who you can really call friends.

After this blog I can honestly say that I'm not the same person I came into it as. A lot of the stuff I went on about has opened me up to the truth opposed to various misconceptions of friendship (which I hope is taken with others also). This in itself has changed up my mindset a bit, so I guess it can be taken as a warning. Just because some people are there with you physically, doesn't mean you all are on the same page mentally. What one sees as a cry for help, another sees as a sign of weakness. If you're reading this I just ask that you PLEASE do me this one favor....

Make sure that you ALWAYS look after your star player!!!